Brahms is not for beginners

Had I penned this post Friday afternoon, as I had planned, it would have smacked of anxiety, tension, reticence, insecurity and disappointment. I would have used the words "harter Brocken" to refer to Brahms' German Requiem. Until last night's rehearsal I had perceived it as a Sisyphean boulder, a monumental work that I just wasn't able to get my head around - much less my voice - and so I feared my ineptitude would perhaps endanger our performance on Sunday afternoon.

It is indeed a monumental work, being the longest opus Brahms ever composed and, as far as popular choral works are concerned, I would guess it is one of the most demanding for the choir. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but for a chorister to stand and sing for 80 minutes without a break takes more fortitude than I attributed to myself. I can't speak for the others, but simply sitting and concentrating on a piece of music for 80 minutes (without any breaks to look at your phone, take a drink or check the soccer score) would normally exceed the extent of my patience. Now imagine standing, concentrating and singing (as well as possible) for that long! You get the idea. It would be like going on a 500-mile cattle drive when all you're used to is the pony ride at the state fair.

The Wallmer Church in Untertürkheim

Last Sunday the choir was scheduled to sing three of the seven parts during the morning service at the Wallmer Church. In addition to the weekly rehearsals with the full choir, I had been dutifully practicing at home nearly every day for weeks. An app called CyberBass helps individuals learn their parts by playing a midi file that emphasizes each vocal part. It helped last year with Bach's Christmas Oratorio and I used it this time as well. However, it is not particularly fun to use because the accompaniment is as pleasant to listen to as an old calliope and bagpipe duet at a low-budget wedding reception. In addition, whereas the other voices can faintly be heard in the background, none of the real instruments are represented, nor are the soloists' parts. Therefore it is impossible to attune one's ear to the particular timbre of an orchestral instrument. Finally, a 130-page score of complex Romantic music which is replete with repeated passages (with minor variations in the voicing) and modulates at will is difficult to fully digest.
So the night before our first scheduled performance last week I panicked. I hardly slept because I felt unprepared for the next morning. The music wafted through my head and unfinished phrases made me toss and turn as I grasped at them from my fading long-term memory. In vain. Now, it is not that I'm vain and wanted to show off how well I can sing. I just didn't want to disappoint the choir - or myself - by singing poorly. As the morning's first tram rolled by my window at 4:30, I rolled over and turned off my alarm. I was in no condition to sing Brahms.
The performance in the Wallmer Church went very well, according to what I heard from the choir members and our fearless leader, Irene Ziegler. Disappointed as I was with the CyberBass app and my progress, I decided to try a different tactic. I had listened to the recording dozens of times, but hadn't sung along with it using the sheet music since the first weeks of rehearsals, and back then I had found it very difficult to find my part among all the voices and instruments. Sunday afternoon I gave it another try and had a revelation! The soloists and the low instruments not only cued many of my entrances, giving me my starting tone, but also accompanied my voice throughout much of the mass. Chalk this discovery up to inexperience; now I know.
So back to Friday, November 22: We had our first rehearsal with the orchestra. The musicians are all professionals and sound great together. The rehearsal atmosphere was more concentrated than usual because nobody wanted to waste the other musicians' time. We were all standing, but the difference was that we were standing together and somehow that held us together and kept us up throughout the two-hour rehearsal. After we finished the first part, I turned to Ingo and smiled. "This is gonna work out! It's much easier to sing with the orchestra accompanying us!" He agreed. It was fun and enlightening and beautiful.
As tears shot up into my eyes during one crescendo, as had happened last year during the Bach, I realized I was in for another magical musical experience. I'm looking forward to today's rehearsal and tomorrow's performance at the Gartenstadtkirche in Luginsland!

The orchestra musicians and choir members take their places for the final rehearsal.

Post-rehearsal update:
The two wonderful soloists sang for and with us today, and the harpist, two more French horn players, the brass section and the timpanist joined us as well. There were still some rough spots - both for the orchestra and for us in the choir. But we went over those places again and feel more confident now. Tomorrow we will have some pre-performance time to work on those bits as well.

Pre-performance routine:
At the piano I sang through some bits that were still giving me some problems, either with the intervals, the modulation, the melisma or the rhythm. Then I listened to the entire piece with the score and stopped the recording and went to the piano where I stumbled and practiced those parts again.

Post performance report:
Fifteen friends and family members paid to hear me sing. Thank you! Does that make me a professional? 😉 Well, thanks to the rest of the musicians, the performance went off beautifully and I believe we were all thrilled with the results. Several times tears shot into my eyes and I had to hold it together and forge on. I guess that doesn't happen to professionals. It was indeed demanding to stand and concentrate on the music all that time, but before I knew it we were on part six of seven and the end was in sight. As the cellos opened the last part, my heart also opened and I sang with everything I had. In der Tat: Seelig sind, die da Leid tragen, denn sie sollen getröstet werden. Blessed are they that suffer (or mourn), for they shall be comforted.